Managing emotions: an approach that goes off the beaten track

We've always been told that we need to "manage" our emotions, as if it were a to-do list to check off. "Be positive," "Don't let anger take over," "Breathe and everything will be fine"... Except that in real life, emotions are a tsunami, not a puddle.

So today, we're going to forget the clichéd advice and see how to tame our emotions with a more human, more direct approach, and above all, one that really makes sense.

1. Stop wanting to be a robot

You're not a machine. You're allowed to have ups and downs, to be happy one day and angry the next. What matters is not to stifle your emotions, but to understand why they are there.

When an emotion hits you hard, ask yourself this simple question: "What is my body trying to tell me?" Because yes, every emotion has a message:

• Anger ? It tells you that you have crossed a line.

• Sadness ? It reminds you that there was something (or someone) important.

• Anxiety ? It's your brain going into "alert" mode, often for no reason.

Rather than rejecting them, try to listen to what they have to say.

2. Accept that you're not perfect (and that's a good thing)

You can't always control everything. And frankly, it feels good to acknowledge that.

The pressure to always be on top, always "comfortable in your own skin," is just nonsense. The idea isn't to be perfect, it's to be real. Accept that you're going to struggle, that you're going to make mistakes, that sometimes you're going to be overwhelmed.

And above all, remember that to feel is to be alive.

3. Express, but as you wish

We're constantly bombarded with "compassionate" communication. It's all well and good, but if it doesn't resonate with you, find YOUR own way to express it.

• Are you the talking type? Find someone who actually listens, not just a polite wall.

• Are you more of an action person? Play sports, hit a punching bag, dance, scream in the car.

• Need a quiet outlet? Write, draw, build something with your hands.

What matters is that it comes out.

4. Cut with the false “good advice”

“Don’t worry”, “Just stay positive”, “Get some sleep, it’ll get better”...

If these phrases annoy you, that's normal. They minimize what you feel. So instead of putting up with them, set a boundary: "Right now, I don't need to be minimized, I just need to be listened to."

And if no one is able to listen to you properly, be your own ally. Validate what you feel, give yourself permission to be "not okay" without feeling guilty.

5. Make your emotions a strength

The goal is not to stop feeling, but to transform your emotions into fuel.

• Anger ? Use it to set your boundaries and move forward.

• Sadness ? Let it teach you what really matters.

• Fear ? Use it to prepare for the worst, but without blocking yourself.

Emotions are not the enemy. They are a guide. And the more you learn to understand them, the freer you will be.

In summary

Stop trying to "manage" your emotions like an equation to be solved.

Learn to observe them, understand them, and use them. That is the real key.

And if you ever struggle, just remember one thing: to feel is to be human.